Thursday, October 25, 2012

The Key to Happiness

The most recurring theme in this blog is failure. My failure to live up to the lofty goal of giving my wife the very best that she deserves. My failure inevitably leads to feelings of inadequacy and disappointment  And not just on my part but her feelings as well. She quickly assumes that she bears blame for not being the confident dominant person that she thinks I "require".  

Talk about unintended consequences! 

The truth is all I require is her love. And I know I already have that and that she places no strings on it but gives it freely and unreservedly and completely. What I desire is her. Emotionally, Intellectually, Sexually, and in every other way. Confidence isn't something I can give her but is something she can discover for herself. I didn't marry a bitchy bossy woman and I'm grateful for that. The stereo typical dominatrix roll is fun to imagine and for the occasional role play session but isn't reality in our marriage. YMMV

The events of the last few days have me focused laser-like on my intense desire and intoxicating love for this amazing women whom I share my life with...

A little background...

I remained a virgin throughout my adolescent years and never "made love" before my wedding night. ( I did loose my virginity but not with anyone I really even cared about much less loved.)
I turned to masturbation which as any man will tell you is a poor substitute for the real thing. 
I'm not the kind of guy who gets an erection anytime the wind blows. I need stimulation, mostly of the mental and visual variety. The more intense the stimulation the greater the climax. Which is a self perpetuating cycle of ever increasing stimulation. Sometimes a quick tug would soothe the savage beast but mostly it just left me feeling guilt ridden and even less fulfilled. The other (and more long-lasting effect) was to quell that most primal motivation every male of every species is driven by. I didn't need to woo my mate with chivalrous behavior I could quickly, simply and selfishly just make the need go away.

Now it doesn't take a degree in clinical psychology to realize that this is not healthy in a loving monogamous marriage relationship. For years I've heard the advice that masturbation doesn't hurt anyone, in fact its healthy and may even stave off certain physical ailments. But I think those are rationalizations we tell ourselves to alleviate our guilt. Bear in mind I'm writing strictly from one man's perspective.

Now I would characterize our marriage as better than most. We see deteriorating marriages everywhere we look. And obviously from previous installments of this blog you will note that I am blessed with a spouse who is more than willing to explore interesting avenues to broaden and deepen our relationship which she will attest is a big step ahead of the other women she interacts with.

So back to the point.
Yesterday we had the rare delight of the house to ourselves for the afternoon. I was feeling my oats more than usual and enjoyed lavishing some deep passionate kisses on my betrothed but was repeatedly rebuffed as she was up to her neck in a project she needed to finish. I didn't protest too much knowing the time constraint she was under. I returned to folding the laundry. A brief minute later the most beautiful sight greeted me from behind... "Then again whats another couple of minutes" she said, Her glorious naked body advancing on me rapidly. Oh Joy!

We proceeded to the bedroom where I dropped to my knees and delved tongue first into her most sacred bits. After a time she directed me to strip and join her in the bed. As I did she caught sight of it...

I was wearing a chastity device.

She didn't even mention it. She allowed me to bring her to full ecstasy with my hands and mouth and promptly dismissed me. She was brimming with self confidence. With nary a word she had taken command and I prayed would never relinquish it.

My head swims just typing the words as I re-live the experience. She was going to "play along"!!! I had no inkling when I might be freed as she was busy and had just "had her's".

Side note here: There is a great need to design and develop a truly secure yet comfortable male chastity device. Maybe we could task NASA with the job since they seem to be without a mission these days.

Later last evening it literally fell off. I was disheartened. We were up too late and with work in the morning there was no more hanky panky. 

However, early this morning (she was up before me), she leaned over me bedside and dropped a small silky pair of her black panties on me and said "you can wear these as a reminder since your chastity device fell off"

Wow, now there is a woman who gets it. I would walk through fire for her, but mostly I just want to grope her day and night. I am re-living the adolescent hormones I squandered in my youth.

I am not expecting this panacea to remain fever pitched perpetually and every waking moment but I'm riding so high I just had to share it. The storal of the mory is... Horny Denied Hubby = Satisfied  Confident and Happy Wife. And as any married man will tell you... Happy Wife = Happy life