Monday, August 23, 2010

Just below the Surface.

I'm too quick to give up. I should know by now I don't have to dig very deep to find the Willing, Lovely, Beautiful, Dominant, Wife/Mistress I crave just waiting to be inspired. ...and things have again taken a turn for the better.
This brief email exchange will explain…

From: Rex
To: Mistress Sharon,

I just wanted to express my appreciation for granting me the opportunity to pleasure you the other night. I was really turned on by the way you provided feedback by grasping such a sensitive bit of my anatomy while I pleasured you. I was able to share the rhythm of your passion through your grip.
I hope you will allow me to pleasure you again soon.

I have been a miserable failure in serving you as I should. I am sorry.
With the kids back in school I will endeavor to get back into a more attentive routine.
I have re-read and will work to meet the terms of our k.i.s.s. contract at a minimum.
I will not request nor expect any sexual release until you are convinced I have met your expectations.

I know you have doubts that you can be a strong dominant leader in our relationship, but you have shown flashes of brilliance recently.

One example is my utter incompetence in doing the dishes properly. You have been very clear in showing me how to perform this simple duty to your expectations.

Honestly when you brought some bowls to the living room where I was sprawled out watching TV and pointed out my failure to pre-scrub them I was properly chastised.
I was embarrassed because I knew it was my poor attention to detail and doubly embarrassed because your mother was there to witness it.
I truly was impressed that you did not simply "blow it off" because she was there and even a bit excited to see you take a firm stand in front of her.
Part of me really wanted to jump up and take over in the kitchen to show my obeisance but my ego wouldn't let me in the presence of your mother.
It had the proper effect on me in spite of my lackluster response.

This simple example would make the subs lurking on the forums jealous of me and the lovely dominant woman I serve.

I just wanted to encourage you and to express how proud I am of your growth as a leader in our relationship and to apologize again for not sufficiently growing into the submissive husband I ought to be. I've been a very poor servant lately and while it has forced you to express your displeasure with my performance I assure you that was not my intention (even if a pleasant side effect). It has only been my slovenly selfishness. I want to turn over a new leaf in your service and I hope you will continue to expect my best performance and behavior.

I love you and wish to serve you, Rex

Oh, Rex... you said such nice things in your recent posts and emails and I don't even know how to respond. I knew (obviously) we had let our contract slide... but as usual was feeling I was to blame and felt awkward trying to figure out how to "fix" it. You pegged my feelings of reluctance and inadequacy perfectly.

And the things you shared from Kat were helpful reminders.
(I copied a few choice words of wisdom from Kat’s At Her Feet web forum in another email not reprinted here.)
I especially liked where she said you don't have to be something you're not and something you don't want to be. I'm just so slow to figure out where that middle ground is. I think that's what tends to "irritate" me the most (if that is the right word) -- that I sometimes feel you're expecting me to be something I'm not... though I realize I in turn am expecting you to stop being something you are. If that makes sense.

Thank you so much for the example of the silly dishes. I had no idea you took that exchange the way you did, so if you hadn't shared it I would never have realized.

You're very generous to mention my "growth as a leader" because it is infinitesimal and at a snail's pace, but thanks for the kind words.

I love you more than you can imagine.
Your benevolent dictator
(Maybe that's how I should try to see myself.) =)

…And so it begins again, Weigh in with your comments and encouragement. I covet the “feedback” ;-)

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Apathy is contagious

I'm a poor submissive hubby. I get absorbed in the other aspects of my life to the point of totally neglecting my duty to serve my wife. She would argue that she hasn't made an effort on her part but, that isn't even relevant to whether or not I have served her as I ought. I know I have gotten out of this just what I’ve put in to it. It’s no secret that FLM has always been my idea and not so much hers. I have failed to inspire her as I should. Re-reading the K.I.S.S. contract reminds me just how minimal her requirements are and yet how far I’ve missed the mark in meeting them.

So in answer to Appy’s question… Not so well. But that's my fault not hers. If she has sensed that I don’t care why on earth should she.