Don't ever blog when your feeling depressed sick and or tired. (I'm breaking all three rules right now.) For the record the indictment was solely on me. My comment about her not assuming empedistalled status was a realization on my part that she loves me so much that she has repeatedly bucked her own sweet nature to allow herself to be worshipped because its what I want. I have had no inclination to be the worshipful husband at all lately, therefore she hasn't had any reason to reciprocate. I could have written this directly to her in response to her email where she deftly spelled out my short comings (all deserved I might add), but since I started this with my rash comments in the public domain I owed it to her to set the record straight here as well. We have an amazing marriage and she is the woman of my dreams and fantasies. I pity couples who for whatever reason aren't as happy and as rock solid permanent as we are. I couldn't imagine being single again. (sorry honey but when we're old and gray you'll have to let me die first or at least at the same time.) I will endeavor to be a better husband and from the bottom of my heart I hope you will not see this in any way as dissatisfaction from me toward you. I have failed here, not you. You need only be yourself. If I ever manage to inspire you to feel empowered then so much the better.
Monday, November 2, 2009
Sorry, I haven't completely dropped off the face of the earth.
New Job commitments are a lot to get adjusted to. I am continuing to lose weight, albeit at a slower pace.
This has been a time for me to acknowledge that if I don't place her on a pedestal she isn't going to climb up there on her own.
I am a bit of a failure as a wife worshipping husband. I'm not giving up or throwing in the towel just facing the fact that I'll need to ginn it up if I want it to survive.