Thursday, July 23, 2009

playful protestations

I must confess to confusing my wife with my playful protestations. Its usually just intended to give her something to "play off of" for the sake of playful banter. All too often she backs off or accedes to my wishes or may even take offense. Of course I don't really want her to yield to my pleading. It's more like I'm giving her a chance to reassert herself, to strengthen her resolve. For example the other morning she found I was half awake but fully erect. As it had been a week and a half without any physical affection she offered to give me a climax. I am torn at those times because physiologically I have a real need but, psychologically my submissive self really wishes she would turn my powerful desire into motivation for her. As I neared the point of no return she said "you can cum". Belligerently I blurted out "NO". So she stopped. This left her wondering what I really wanted and as a result I neither was able to climax nor did she tease me further to motivate me.

Orgasm rationing is fundamental to a wife led relationship. I never want to be asked my preference in that situation. I wish to be informed or even ordered. To which I can respond with nothing other than "yes Ma'am". It robs her of her power to let me freely choose to cum or not. She doesn't want to have to be the sole initiator for sex and truth be told I initiate sex almost exclusively. So I find myself in the unenviable position of asking her to have sex and oh by the way please deny my orgasm. It doesn't work very well.

We men are pretty much always ready for sex. We're like a rigged slot machine. Grab the handle, give it a tug and your guaranteed a win every time. My wife could operant condition me to do anything she wanted if she would just avail herself of that power.

Last night and this morning I may have seen a glimpse of her taking a more assertive tone with me. It was late and she needed to sleep, but I was feeling "lucky". She told me several times that she was going to sleep and I was basically "out of luck". I finally fell asleep hard and frustrated. In the morning when her alarm went off I made another move on her but the start of the day beckoned and I was out of luck again. She saw my per-dick-ament and said "I'll tell you what" (the prelude to allowing me a quickie) but, just as the words were leaving her lips she snatched them back and said "no, I won't be pressured into anything". Those were some of the sweetest words she's ever spoken.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009


An 15th century word that just sounds insulting. According to Merriam Webster it means physical comeliness. Of course, it’s in the eye of the beholder. My wife is voluptuous and Greek goddess like. She fails to see herself the way I see her. I'm enthralled with her. I too have the body of a god, albeit Buda. It’s fair to say that I come up short (and fat) in the pulchritude department.

For a host of reasons I should get in better shape. Not the least of which is to become more appealing to “She Who Deserves My Very Best”. Is my “very best” to be overweight? No of course it is not.

This is an area of my life that is tailor made to the ministrations of a strong willed wife. Anyone know where I can find one? (Just kidding dear.) The point is that as hard as it is for me to get my weight under control it’s equally hard for my wife to assert her dominance. Vicious cycle as they relate to each other. Since she is a follower of this blog this is mostly for her consumption. We read recently a quote referenced in Mark Redmond’s epoch book Worshipping Your Wife of a man put on a regimen of weight loss that was directly tied to his sexual release. He was required to shed two pounds per week. If he failed to meet his target he was denied orgasm until he did. I saw her eyebrows go up when she read that. It caught her attention.

I know she would say in no uncertain terms that she loves me regardless of my weight. I can accept that but, because she loves me I hope she will find the will within herself to demand more of me (actually less of me). I realize I’m breaking at least two major rules of a wife led marriage by asking and that I should man up and just do it without having to be told. The truth is I’m not a strong willed person which is one reason I’m attracted to this dynamic in the first place.

So here goes: Mistress Sharron will you please take an oath to withhold my sexual release subject to my achieving weight loss goals you deem appropriate? The blogosphere is our witness. Spell out the specific terms you require for all the world to read. We won't survive vague generalities. Take the time to carefully consider your response. What scale will we use? What day and time will you test me? What will be the specific consequences if I fail to make my target? Can I meet my target early? etc. Think of all the angles and then write them in stone.
Fellow bloggers and readers I humbly ask for your input now and in the future to keep us both on the path to health and sexual satisfaction. I will begin a running tally of pounds lost at the beginning of subsequent blogs. I need accountability in my life to be a better man.

It is asking a lot from my dear wife to comment openly and in detail and to follow through on a commitment that requires her active participation on at least a weekly basis. Perhaps this will be the spark that lights the fire under our wife led marriage. I hope it will. I am asking with trepidation because I know this won't be easy for either of us (I truly hate dieting) but I believe in us and with your help I can do this for my health, for your pleasure, and for our future with our children and grandchildren. (Shamelessly playing on her sympathies I know.)

Here's to physical comeliness through cum-less-ness

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Life gets in the way

It happens to us all. We want a 24/7 experience but settle for more like a 7 in 24 experience. That's life. I won't presume to speak for all of us but I doubt their is such a thing as 24/7 within a "real marriage". Now before you all get your "forced to wear" panties in a bunch let me explain.

I have a great marriage. Is it wife led?... Sometimes. Could that be a bigger part of my marriage?... Yes, definitely. My wife works. In fact she is the primary breadwinner of the family. She juggles many balls at a time (metaphorically speaking of course). If I'm to be the supportive and submissive husband that she needs then I need to put aside my desires for her "special attention" so she isn't harried with one more thing to "do". Its common sense.

So the question is how do we handle those times when she has ebbed but we're longing for high tide? That's for you to figure out within your own marriage. I'm writing to try and answer that question for myself.

Do we resort to "topping from the bottom"? Its tempting, but usually counter productive and basically unsatisfying.

Do we try the "frank talk" approach? We could but its like topping from the bottom. It usually comes across as needy and makes her feel inadequate. My experience has been that its a motivation killer. You've just placed more expectations on her when she is already feeling swamped.

I think the answer must be.... Drum roll please... "Kill 'em with kindness"

You know what I mean. Work extra hard to alleviate the stressors in their lives and do it with no expectation of reward. You must be sincere in this or they'll see right through it and think your trying to guilt them into playing the dominant role. I've said it before and I'll say it again... I don't want it to be a role she dons for my pleasure. I want her to grow into a dominant woman/wife. I have to daily help nurture that growth by serving her in such a way that she will over time come to expect exceptional service. If I can do that well enough and long enough I think (hope) that anything less will not be tolerated by her.

But what about the times when we husbands ebb? I guess that's the measure of just how bad we really want this for ourselves. I can say I want to be dominated 24/7 here in the safe anonymity of cyberspace but in my life it just isn't so. I love the sexual tension and passionate energy when she's on her game but that doesn't survive the mundane aspects of life. Our kids, family and neighbors don't know about us so we can't be "on all the time" even if we were so inclined. That's part of the reason for blogging. Its a way to keep me honest and deliver myself the occasional kick in the pants to keep me going. If I can focus on being my best for her in all contexts then I can keep the thread of wife worship even in the mundane.

Do I fail? HELL YES, I FAIL!!! We (I) just have to keep picking ourselves up again and try harder not to.